The Four Big Bangs

Something I've been thinking of for awhile now, about what makes humans different than other creatures. What makes human beings special in all of God's creation?

I think what makes us different and special is that God has given human beings the curiosity to find out about the world around us, and the intelligence to be able to do the research to satisfy that curiosity. In addition, He has given us the ability to appreciate the beauty in the world He has created for us. I believe it is these qualities that set human beings apart from the rest of the animal world. I also believe that these two attributes--curiosity and appreciation--are interconnected with each other.

I think probably curiosity comes first: the desire to understand what makes the world work, what makes us as human beings tick. Then, once we've come to an understanding, partial though it may be, of the world in which we live, we can appreciate it for all its wonders--and we can appreciate the God who made it all. At least that's the way it is for me.

I've thought a lot about this, so I'm sure I'll have more to say, but for now I think I'll end here.

Evil is Good? Surprisingly and Perversely, Yes.

I never thought I'd say this, but there's a certain aspect of my childhood for which I'm actually grateful. What I mean by this is that what I went through as a child keeps me conscious on a daily basis of my sinfulness and need for a savior, something I don't ever want to forget.

I think we all need to remember that we are sinful creatures ("...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..."~~Romans 3:23, ESV) and can do nothing without God's help. I am eternally grateful for God's love for me, and for Jesus' willingness to go to the cross for me, especially given that it was my sin that pounded the nails into His hands and feet on that cross.

It's difficult for me to fathom the kind of love demonstrated by Jesus. He chose to divest Himself of everything He had in Heaven--His majesty, His royalty, His title, His rights, everything--and come down to earth as a human person, a baby. He did that so He could bear my sins (and the sins of all mankind--I have no illusions that it's all about me) on a cross in the most cruel of deaths.

In addition, just living as a human being must have been an unimaginable change for Him. To step down from being the King of Kings, the Master of the Universe, the Creator of all Things, into a tiny baby's frame, with all the bodily functions of a human body--what a HUGE switch!!! In Heaven He didn't even have a physical form, and now He not only had a physical body, but He had all the functions that go with having that body. Eating, sleeping, yawning, crying, a stuffy nose and associated snot, peeing, pooping (sorry, but let's be real here)... You know, all the gross stuff human beings have to go through. The only thing he didn't do was have sex, because that would have been a part of the sin nature that He couldn't partake of in order to remain sin-free.

There's a song that Chris Tomlin sings; the title escapes me, but there's a line in it that pretty well encapsulates it for me: "He knows the depths of my heart and He loves me the same." God knows how black and depraved I am, and He continues loving me, no differently than if I were perfectly righteous. The mystery and beauty of that idea is so amazing to me that it makes me weep everytime I think of it, and it makes me want to fall on my knees in worship all at the same time. I just can't fathom it!

I could write for a very long time on this, but what I've said thus far says it in a nutshell, so I think I'll just post this.

THANK YOU, JESUS, FOR YOUR MERCY AND GOODNESS TO ME!!!!

Hearing And Hearing...

Why is it that I find it so hard to write? When I was multiple I had, amongst others, two alters. One was named The Secretary, and her job was to write about the goings-on of our system--to basically keep a journal about us. But there was another alter named Secret who's job it was to keep everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, about our life/lives a secret from everyone, including me. The problem with that is, the abuse isn't happening anymore. No abuse! There hasn't been any abuse since I was about twenty-one.

So we, actually I, because we got integrated into I way back in 2003, no longer have to keep things secret. So what's the need now? What is keeping me from writing now; what's keeping my words locked inside? And what is keeping my creative juices from flowing as far as art and crafting and music are concerned? Because I can't do any of those things either. Jeff is praying for me about these things during our sessions, and his prayers are having at least some success: I'm able to write here for the first time in over a year. Plus I have a idea for a way to keep me writing consistently and often, but I won't go into that now.

This is something that has bothered and hindered me for a long time, years even, so I'm going to keep exploring the reasons behind it until I'm able to fully express myself in all the ways God has given me to do so.

Enough of that for now. On to other things.

I read Romans Ten today. It was wonderful, as is the whole Book of Romans. The verse that stuck out the most to me was Romans 10:17, "So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ."~~ESV.

I've always loved this verse, but there's something about it that I've never understood: what is the purpose of repeating the word, "hearing"? That's always been a puzzle to me. I've heard it taught that the reason for the repetition is for emphasis--so emphasis on hearing? It still doesn't make sense to me, though maybe it does a little. Maybe it's about hearing the word of Christ over and over again.

Other Bible translations provide some help:

The New Living Translation says, "So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ."

The New International Version says, "Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ."

Then as I was reading, the Parable of the Sower in Mark 4 and Luke 8 came to mind (Thank you, Holy Spirit!!). Jesus says that this parable is the most basic of all the parables, that if we don't understand this parable then we won't understand any of the parables (Mark 4:13). It turns out that the Parable of the Sower is all about hearing the Word of God, and the different ways someone can hear God's Word. The parable compares people to various kinds of soil, with the Word being the seed being planted therein.

So the upshot of it is, I need to practice being a better hearer of God's Word, and the first step forward in this endeavor is to get myself onto a consistent reading plan.

Onward and upward!!