August, 2012
I'm cleaning out Mom's house, a long, hard task, and I have to do it pretty much on my own. So I've hired someone to help me, which is making it a little easier, but it's still hard. It doesn't feel like I'm just closing down her house. It feels like I'm closing out her life, like somehow she won't exist anymore once I'm done. Logically I know that's not true because all I have to do is go to her room in Shu Lodge to see her. But in the process of closing down her house I'm having to get rid of most of her furniture and clothes because there's no room for them in her new place.
The reason she has to move is because she had a very bad bladder infection that wasn't diagnosed until after it had already turned into septicemia, and as a consequence she spent two weeks in the hospital and another six weeks in a skilled nursing facility, with the final aftermath of the bladder infection being that her memory, and primarily her short term memory, is pretty much shot. It seems that all those toxins from the infection running around unchecked in her system because of the septicemia, especially for as long as they did, were highly deleterious for her body, and particularly for her central nervous system.
When she was finally able to come home from the skilled nursing facility, the powers that be at Westminster Gardens decided that she could no longer remain in independent living and she had to move to Assisted Living. They didn't consult either Mom or me about it--well, I can see why they didn't ask Mom, but I was a little distressed that they made the decision without talking to me about it. But they did allow me to choose Mom's new room for her, so I chose one just down the hall from Jeanette Parson, her best friend for over forty years from when we lived on Brigden Rd. in Pasadena. The reason they didn't consult Mom about the move was because they already knew she wouldn't like or agree with the idea, and they felt it was in her best interest health-wise to be moved to Assisted Living permanently. They were kind enough, however, to be the ones to tell her about the move, and to do it in such a way that right from the start she knew that she had no choice in the matter, that it was a done deal. I'm glad they were the ones who told her, because if I had had to do it, she wouldn't have agreed to it.
It's an uncommonly difficult process, this move, because Mom's memory is so bad since she got out of the hospital that sometimes she doesn't remember from one day to the next that she is moving, and some days she remembers that she's moving but doesn't remember where to, and some days she remembers everything. I never know what to expect when I go to see her at Country Villa (the skilled nursing facility). She doesn't like being there, so she says bad things about the other people in her room like they can't hear her and/or are too senile or stupid to understand what she's saying. This is upsetting to me because she's always so worried that other people will think she's senile, and she doesn't like it when someone ignores her and talks to me since she's sure they're doing it because they think she's senile. It just feels hypocritical to me, that's all, but what do I know? I could be wrong. I'm wrong all the time.
So anyway, the house is almost completely cleaned out, thank God, and I'm exhausted. Mom's old next door neighbors helped me buy the few new things she needed, and then a friend of theirs helped me arrange all the furniture I had chosen in her new room, and also helped by hanging all the artwork I'd picked out--what a blessing that was--and Mom got moved in to her new home in Shu Lodge. Now I have to sort out what I'm getting rid of and what I'm keeping for myself. The things I'm keeping are going into a storage space I'm going to rent locally. Everything else I'm either going to give away to whomever wants it or to the Salvation Army, or else it's going into the trash.
Thank God it's almost done! What an arduous task it has been! I'm so very thankful that it's just about complete.
March, 2013
Well, Mom has been in her new place for about eight months now, and she's adapted surprisingly well. Her memory is still very bad; it looks like that won't come back, unfortunately. But it's OK. It really hasn't been that hard to deal with. I always thought I would hate taking care of an elderly person, but it's actually all right. It may be that it's easier because she's my mom and I love her, I don't know. But whatever the reason, God is giving me the strength and the will to go on, and for that I am very grateful.
I'm cleaning out Mom's house, a long, hard task, and I have to do it pretty much on my own. So I've hired someone to help me, which is making it a little easier, but it's still hard. It doesn't feel like I'm just closing down her house. It feels like I'm closing out her life, like somehow she won't exist anymore once I'm done. Logically I know that's not true because all I have to do is go to her room in Shu Lodge to see her. But in the process of closing down her house I'm having to get rid of most of her furniture and clothes because there's no room for them in her new place.
The reason she has to move is because she had a very bad bladder infection that wasn't diagnosed until after it had already turned into septicemia, and as a consequence she spent two weeks in the hospital and another six weeks in a skilled nursing facility, with the final aftermath of the bladder infection being that her memory, and primarily her short term memory, is pretty much shot. It seems that all those toxins from the infection running around unchecked in her system because of the septicemia, especially for as long as they did, were highly deleterious for her body, and particularly for her central nervous system.
When she was finally able to come home from the skilled nursing facility, the powers that be at Westminster Gardens decided that she could no longer remain in independent living and she had to move to Assisted Living. They didn't consult either Mom or me about it--well, I can see why they didn't ask Mom, but I was a little distressed that they made the decision without talking to me about it. But they did allow me to choose Mom's new room for her, so I chose one just down the hall from Jeanette Parson, her best friend for over forty years from when we lived on Brigden Rd. in Pasadena. The reason they didn't consult Mom about the move was because they already knew she wouldn't like or agree with the idea, and they felt it was in her best interest health-wise to be moved to Assisted Living permanently. They were kind enough, however, to be the ones to tell her about the move, and to do it in such a way that right from the start she knew that she had no choice in the matter, that it was a done deal. I'm glad they were the ones who told her, because if I had had to do it, she wouldn't have agreed to it.
It's an uncommonly difficult process, this move, because Mom's memory is so bad since she got out of the hospital that sometimes she doesn't remember from one day to the next that she is moving, and some days she remembers that she's moving but doesn't remember where to, and some days she remembers everything. I never know what to expect when I go to see her at Country Villa (the skilled nursing facility). She doesn't like being there, so she says bad things about the other people in her room like they can't hear her and/or are too senile or stupid to understand what she's saying. This is upsetting to me because she's always so worried that other people will think she's senile, and she doesn't like it when someone ignores her and talks to me since she's sure they're doing it because they think she's senile. It just feels hypocritical to me, that's all, but what do I know? I could be wrong. I'm wrong all the time.
So anyway, the house is almost completely cleaned out, thank God, and I'm exhausted. Mom's old next door neighbors helped me buy the few new things she needed, and then a friend of theirs helped me arrange all the furniture I had chosen in her new room, and also helped by hanging all the artwork I'd picked out--what a blessing that was--and Mom got moved in to her new home in Shu Lodge. Now I have to sort out what I'm getting rid of and what I'm keeping for myself. The things I'm keeping are going into a storage space I'm going to rent locally. Everything else I'm either going to give away to whomever wants it or to the Salvation Army, or else it's going into the trash.
Thank God it's almost done! What an arduous task it has been! I'm so very thankful that it's just about complete.
March, 2013
Well, Mom has been in her new place for about eight months now, and she's adapted surprisingly well. Her memory is still very bad; it looks like that won't come back, unfortunately. But it's OK. It really hasn't been that hard to deal with. I always thought I would hate taking care of an elderly person, but it's actually all right. It may be that it's easier because she's my mom and I love her, I don't know. But whatever the reason, God is giving me the strength and the will to go on, and for that I am very grateful.
