Every once in awhile I begin to reflect on my life, sometimes not such a good idea, and when I do that I realize some of the things I've lost. Things like the ability to feel and act in feminine ways, the ability to have a relationship with people in general, and with a man specifically, plus I never had a childhood. My innocence was stolen before I was even born.
I don't want to get bogged down in self-pity, but sometimes I feel sad because there are some things I can never get back, some things I'll never get to experience. While there are some things that God can replace, heal, and/or make up for, there are others that are irreplaceable. Certainly God can heal my inability to have relationships, especially in the area of relationships with men, and He can heal my problems with femininity, though I don't quite know how--but I guess that part isn't really my problem. But I'll never be able to have a childhood now. That's been robbed from me forever, and that's the part that hurts the most.
I think I'll just have to give the hurt, and the fact that I can't ever get it back, and that it was stolen from me, and how much it bothers me, and everything else about it to God. Because feeling sorry for myself doesn't help me at all. It just holds me back and hinders my progress, and it makes me depressed and sad, and I really don't need that. I have too much to do all the time to get bogged down by depression and self-pity.
So that's what I'm going to do. I'll give it all to God. He's much better at dealing with all that heavy stuff anyway. Plus, if I give it all to God, then He'll have the pain and the worry of it all, so it won't bother me anymore--at least that's the idea. It might sound simplistic, but I've found that it actually does work most of the time, and the times when it doesn't work, it's because I'm missing it in some way. Because God's Word always works, and He always keeps His Word. He always keeps His promises, and He's always faithful.
Anyway, that's about it. God is good, all the time!!
I don't want to get bogged down in self-pity, but sometimes I feel sad because there are some things I can never get back, some things I'll never get to experience. While there are some things that God can replace, heal, and/or make up for, there are others that are irreplaceable. Certainly God can heal my inability to have relationships, especially in the area of relationships with men, and He can heal my problems with femininity, though I don't quite know how--but I guess that part isn't really my problem. But I'll never be able to have a childhood now. That's been robbed from me forever, and that's the part that hurts the most.
I think I'll just have to give the hurt, and the fact that I can't ever get it back, and that it was stolen from me, and how much it bothers me, and everything else about it to God. Because feeling sorry for myself doesn't help me at all. It just holds me back and hinders my progress, and it makes me depressed and sad, and I really don't need that. I have too much to do all the time to get bogged down by depression and self-pity.
So that's what I'm going to do. I'll give it all to God. He's much better at dealing with all that heavy stuff anyway. Plus, if I give it all to God, then He'll have the pain and the worry of it all, so it won't bother me anymore--at least that's the idea. It might sound simplistic, but I've found that it actually does work most of the time, and the times when it doesn't work, it's because I'm missing it in some way. Because God's Word always works, and He always keeps His Word. He always keeps His promises, and He's always faithful.
"But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."~~Hebrews 11:6, NKJV. "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."~~Hebrews11:1, NKJV.
"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him for He cares for you."~~I Peter 5:6-7; NKJVI don't really care that much if God exalts me. All I'm really interested in is pleasing Him. That's all I've ever wanted is to please God.
Anyway, that's about it. God is good, all the time!!
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